I Made You A Good Husband
If I hadn’t left my first ex-husband after surviving his abuse he would probably still be beating women. But now after almost twelve years in his second marriage he seems to be a good husband to his current wife. Though I know for a fact that he had problems with violence even after I left him.
Now, he dotes on his wife and she thinks he is a saint sent to her by God. And don’t you know it, that I let her know if it hadn’t been for me leaving him and all the things he did to me and the fact that I refused to take him back she can thank me for how he treats her. As I remarked once to her “He is standing on my shoulders because I raised him up”.
I’m fairly certain that after the violence he put her through she was almost done with him as well. But she is a Christian woman, unlike myself who is Jewish. Though I think we Jews invented forgiveness and I’m fairly certain Christ wasn’t the first to preach turning the other cheek.
Don’t get me wrong, I forgive but I don’t forget and there’s only so many chances you can give. I feared for my life with this man. It took years of therapy to understand that I wasn’t the problem nor the solution to his problems. It took a very long time to understand my own sickness and attraction to abusive, narcissistic, broken men. It took a very long time to understand that I’m not damaged goods.
Now this man holds on to his wife for dear life. Now he understands to love someone with all your whole heart unconditionally is imperative for a marriage to work. Now he understands what it truly is to cherish someone. Now he knows how lucky he is that she took him back even after he beat on her and grateful for the opportunity to be loved by her.
